My son Carson is a pistol. In fact, my Dad gave me a book on raising a strong-willed child when Carson was only about 18 months old. Bad sign! As you can see from his photos, he is a wee-bit of a kid with his daddy's auburn hair, and eyes, in particular, eyelashes to die for. All of this is a disaster...he can flirt his way out of every jam and yes, it even works on me!
Well a few months ago, he has developed a new skill (don't think he will want this on his resume). He is stealing! Had he been born in the Middle East both his hands and possibly his feet would have been cut off by now. It all started when we were doing our cookie sales for Audrey. We were at a school friend's house getting an order and when we got home, we discovered Carson had stuffed his pockets will all kinds of stuff; marbles, puzzle pieces, a plastic bird and some other little items. I took this opportunity to lecture Carson about not taking our friend's things when we go home and returned the items back to the rightful owners the next morning. I quickly chucked this one to him being 4 and not realizing that they were in his pocket and so on. Then the following week he loaded his pockets with matchbox cars at preschool, and I mean loaded, 11 little cars in all. I don't know how he even keep his pants up. After I discovered his thievery, I marched him straight back to his classroom. I thought that would be embarrassing enough to end this behavior. But NO! The next incident, we are having brunch at our friend's, Leah and Adrian and Audrey tells us that Carson has packed his pockets full of marbles...you know the ones that you use in floral arrangement or to decorate candles. UGH!!! So we quickly had him empty his pockets and had him put them back. As a result, Carson is now frisked upon leaving the Herrera's house.
And then it continues, this morning I caught Carson removing all the cash from Audrey wallet (her tooth-fairy money) and stuffed it in his piggy bank. I can't remove the money without breaking his bank. And then, I got a call from my Mom this morning about him taking a skull and crossbones key chain from the thrift store after she said she wouldn't buy it for him.
I am at wits end. I spoke with one of my friends who I get together with weekly for play dates and she said that she just read an article about this very thing in one of her parenting mags. She promises me that it is phase but that it needs to be resolved before it becomes a habit. Okay, so I have tried all the love and logic ways to no avail. I am thinking that I am going make him wear pants that have no pockets. But also, why is he doing this? She says stress or maybe a change in his life. I can't figure out what is so stressful in this 4 year-old and yes, over-privileged life. How will he handle real adversity? Rob Banks! Okay, so that discussion is a whole other blog.
Do you have any stealing wisdom to share? Or any stories of your own?
Well a few months ago, he has developed a new skill (don't think he will want this on his resume). He is stealing! Had he been born in the Middle East both his hands and possibly his feet would have been cut off by now. It all started when we were doing our cookie sales for Audrey. We were at a school friend's house getting an order and when we got home, we discovered Carson had stuffed his pockets will all kinds of stuff; marbles, puzzle pieces, a plastic bird and some other little items. I took this opportunity to lecture Carson about not taking our friend's things when we go home and returned the items back to the rightful owners the next morning. I quickly chucked this one to him being 4 and not realizing that they were in his pocket and so on. Then the following week he loaded his pockets with matchbox cars at preschool, and I mean loaded, 11 little cars in all. I don't know how he even keep his pants up. After I discovered his thievery, I marched him straight back to his classroom. I thought that would be embarrassing enough to end this behavior. But NO! The next incident, we are having brunch at our friend's, Leah and Adrian and Audrey tells us that Carson has packed his pockets full of marbles...you know the ones that you use in floral arrangement or to decorate candles. UGH!!! So we quickly had him empty his pockets and had him put them back. As a result, Carson is now frisked upon leaving the Herrera's house.
And then it continues, this morning I caught Carson removing all the cash from Audrey wallet (her tooth-fairy money) and stuffed it in his piggy bank. I can't remove the money without breaking his bank. And then, I got a call from my Mom this morning about him taking a skull and crossbones key chain from the thrift store after she said she wouldn't buy it for him.
I am at wits end. I spoke with one of my friends who I get together with weekly for play dates and she said that she just read an article about this very thing in one of her parenting mags. She promises me that it is phase but that it needs to be resolved before it becomes a habit. Okay, so I have tried all the love and logic ways to no avail. I am thinking that I am going make him wear pants that have no pockets. But also, why is he doing this? She says stress or maybe a change in his life. I can't figure out what is so stressful in this 4 year-old and yes, over-privileged life. How will he handle real adversity? Rob Banks! Okay, so that discussion is a whole other blog.
Do you have any stealing wisdom to share? Or any stories of your own?
7 comments:
I wish I had some good ideas but I am sure you have tried everything. My only thought would be is taking things away that he enjoys. Maybe he will then realize he is doing something wrong.
Have him arrested. Not really but figuratively. Do you have any police officer friends? Maybe you could speak to the local police station and see if there is an officer willing to do you a wee bit of a favour. You could do a pretend arrest just short of lock up and overnight incarceration carefully explaining this is what happens to children who steal.
Maybe a bit harsh but it might break what could become the habit of a lifetime....a lucrative one but perhaps not quite as respectable as you might have hoped.
PS Sebatian comes home with blue tack (the blue sticky stuff that you can stick things to walls with) in his pockets every day from school. It has no value and we have blue tack at home of our own. We've even given him a little tupperware tub to keep his own blue tack. this made matter sworse when we realised it was growing day by day each time he added his day's taking to it. Now I am the blue tack keeper and no one better be found with blue on them unless I have dispensed it. I can't imagine why he feels the compulsion/addiction to take it fromt he school. they must be wondering where all their blue tack is going!
Maybe you should break his piggy bank, give ALL the money to Audrey, get him a new piggy bank and make him start all over filling it.
If it really is "just a phase" it sounds to me like you are doing the right things with making him take things back and checking his pockets and so on. I would definitely keep it up. When I was 4 or so, I stole a pink wallet from a store and my mom marched me in to return it and apologize. The clerk was very stern with me and I never wanted to do that again!
Blessings to you - things like this can be such a worrisome burden for a mom, especially one like you who is so obviously madly in love with her family.
I can see how that smile gets him out of trouble!
jc
Sorry, but as someone who does not have kids, that is a really funny story!
Maybe you should consult a child psychologist and ask the question? Seems to me that when I was a little kid and doing stuff like that it was to have a sense of control (I CAN take this!) and also to have something just my own that is private (hoarding).
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