The House of Wood...and brick

An American family of 5 plus a dog...Experience the CHAOS!

The family on top of Mount Evans

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Death Inevitable

I got the notice today from my doctor during my first physical EVER. Yes, I will die....hopefully not for 50+ years but maybe tomorrow. My condition....I am fat! Apparently, being fat causes every ailment known to man or western medical professionals. Did you know that being fat (even slightly) causes heartburn which leads at digestive cancers, shortness for breath, exhaustion, knee and hip pain even though I had an injury in the hip and knee while cheerleading in high school. Hummmmmm....interesting. Treatment....don't be fat. How, you ask? NO CARBS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! Poor carbs...it must feel awful being the enemy of all Americans. Do you think they are companions for the Al-Queda? Maybe they give each other comfort. So what do I take from this. Try to reduce my intake of carbs. Take Prilosect for my fat induce heartburn and calcium to counteract the heartburn meds so I don't have any bone loss. I surely can't have that happen since I am only 4'11" now. Be active and enjoy my life how ever long it will be. Well, I guess, I will have to be fat and happy with a few heath risks.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

No you don't have to be fat for the rest of your life but you should start to find time to exercise even if it's a 20 minute walk. I know you can lose weight and still be able to enjoy carbs once in awhile. Whipper

stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
stephanie said...

With three very active kids...I think I get more than a 20-min workout, but the tummy remains. Oh Well. C'est la vie, apre 30!

Janell said...

It's true - life has a 100 percent mortality rate.
Carbs wouldn't be in so much trouble if they wouldn't go around being so delicious!

JMarie said...

Um, yeah...the constant kid workout with no fat-reducing bennies. So unfair. I'm really trying to lose that last 10 lbs of baby weight, but it is SO hard. I guess I kind of gave up because I went shopping and bought some tubby clothes for summer.

Boy, I can't wait to see my stick-figure sister-in-law over the 4th (the one who has already refused to nurse her theorectical future children on the basis that nursing will "ruin" her boobs). Maybe yes, maybe no, but at least I know I'm giving my son the very best start in life a mother can.

Anyhoo...I'm cutting out the carbs as much as possible too. Did I tell you my biz partner lost 50 lbs on Weight Watchers? It took her five months.

BTW -- good to see you posting.

Brooke said...

The one thing I have learned with dieting the last few months. Is cardio and pilates have done great for me. The first time after pilates I thought I was going to die but it has got so much better and I am hoping by the time the family reunion comes around my stomach will be gone. Is anyone from CO coming this year?

LaDawn said...

Warning: Exercise leads to shortness of breath as well!

I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and miserable.

Am going to try this whole no carb thing for a while to support you, baby sista! Let's see if we can do it together!

Anonymous said...

For once LA... I think we agree...

We are more well off than we have ever been at all levels our society. So "we" are fat, and we have the option of being fat, dumb and happy if we want to be -- Although I am personally in great shape...

stephanie said...

Why is it that fat and dumb are lumped together? As far as I know body fat levels and IQ are not linked. I prefer blissful ignorance or even "don't give a shit".